Last night, I had a complete melt down. Ordinarily, even though I am 58, I would seek advice from my father but, as my father has
- Sexually abused me as a boy
- Tried to put me in jail for sexual abuse, after paying off my daughter, Verity
- Has tried to bribe me to leave the country
- Has organised financial abuse against me
- Organised, through his masonic contacts, a trumped up charge of harassment, when I ended up in jail for being a “flight risk”
- Would not even speak to me on the telephone when I asked if he had anything to say
how could I ask such a person for advice? I could not and would not.
Instead, I asked a man, who I have met in the North but will remain anonymous, otherwise the fucking Hender family will try and destroy him too, even if he does not know any of the family except me and has done nothing to try and help me.
Last night, I put out a cry for help and this is what I said
My dear friend, xxxxx,
You and I are on similar wavelengths; we think the same and are passionate about rebuilding Britain into a productive nation, not just financial services, which is concentrated in the South East but to make the “Great” out of “Great Britain” really great again. You want productivity in the Midlands and the north and I want productivity in the South, South West and the Isle of Wight, which is crumbling before my eyes.
You keep on saying that I am clever but, even if I am, I cannot motivate myself to put my ideas into action. An example is my vacuum cleaner/ electric aero engine, which has already showed great promise and even though I spent over £400 to have two smallish but very powerful electrical motors wired together to expensive power supplies, which blew away all the papers in the office of the person in the model shop who constructed it. It has been sitting in my garage for 2 months, still in its box.
Even my beach buggy that I named after my late wife and is being completely rebuilt and upgraded by someone who I am paying does not motivate me and I make any excuse to come inside.
You and I had a great day together and I worked so hard to get proof of concept before that but you said that it was not for xxxxxx. I was fine by that; I was pragmatic. We talked about the xxxxxxxx and I suggested an alternative to the concrete. I bought metres of steel as well as a brand new xxxxxxxxxx to rip apart and modify. The xxxxxxxxxxx has sat in the garage since it was delivered months ago and the steel is still sitting outside my back door.
I have no motivation whatsoever, even though I have got projects that will reach fruition. I liken myself to someone who just spends money to get 5 seconds of pleasure but never uses whatever is bought. Yes, I denigrate myself and always have xxxxxx.
I didn’t realise to this moment how much my mental health has been so damaged by the sexual abuse that I endured from my own father and the continued abuse by the police and my very own family. Quite frankly, it has completely broken me, just like a doll.
I would write such an email to my own father pleading for help but, as he was behind it all, I do not know who else to write to, except for you. We know each other very little but, even after our short time together, you have, in effect, become my surrogate father. Even before we met, I told you of all of the things that had happened to me, literally everything in my presentation.
Maybe I need a reset as I have been imprisoned in this bloody house and workshop and I would travel all the way up to xxxxxxxxxx for you to give me some fatherly advice, even though I am 58.
Quite frankly, I am lost xxxxxxxx
This is the advice that my shit father should have given to me
I think you are showing the price that comes with being “gifted”.
It’s the disappointment in your performance that can make you outperform lesser mortals. However you need to be pragmatic and not think of yourself as a victim. Maybe be less ambitious. Think about what makes you happy and do that.
and 5 hours later, he said
Today is the first day of the rest of your life and only you can decide how you live. Learn from the past but don’t live in it. Focus on your strengths there is no doubt that you have more ability than most people.
My father has always tried to destroy me, because I am cleverer than him. not my words but someone else’s and not even prompted as you will see from my friend’s message.
I can now see that my father’s desire to destroy me is just down to pure ego and that is disgusting for a father to behave. That is why he threw money at my weakling brother, who could not organise a “piss up in a brewery” and he had one but it failed due to his ineptitude