My father’s sexual abuse of me has been so damaging

I have written many times about my father’s sexual abuse of me. I was just a fucking little boy.

That horror was buried for decades and started to resurface when I was accused of the sexual abuse of my daughter; it was the sheer trauma on my brain that was the trigger.

Of course, I reported it to Leverton but he dismissed it so I have to endure the mental anguish for the rest of my life and I can tell you that it can disable you, at a moments notice. My friend, who is working with me on the buggy, named after my late wife, knows that all too well. It could be the least little thing but my stress will go through the roof and I will just walk off and have to down glasses of wine and smoke like a trooper. The day of work for me is then over. Usually, I then just shut down for days and bury myself under the duvet; my security blanket if you will. I just want to shut off the world

But there is one issue that I have never discussed and that is that I leak.

I will try and be less blunt than I have been previously but the subject is not pleasant.

After I have been to the toilet, which happens at least three times a day (not normal), I sort myself out, if you know what I mean. But roughly three hours later, I get pains down there. There is no other way to say this but poo liquid is somewhat corrosive and can affect the skin down there, if you know what I mean. That is what causes me the pain and notifies me that I need to take action. Every single time, every single day, I have to sort myself out again.

The reason? Because my father soddomised me, he has damaged my anus and it can no longer function as it is supposed to do. That is why I have to “go” far more frequently and have far more issues “down there”, as I have written above

Quite frankly, it is totally debilitating and my life revolves around going to the toilet for whatever reason; I think about it every waking moment of every day but even when asleep, it will wake me up and I will have to completely change

Even with all of this damage that has been done to me, the police still do nothing because (a) I am a man and it was a boy who was sexually abused (b) my father is a mason and very well connected

That is one of the reasons why I have fuck all respect for the police and never will until I get ANY justice for what my father has done to me, both physically and mentally, the effects of which will last until the day that I die.

Endometriosis is now big news. Of course it is, because it is is to do with women and the condition has exactly the same effects but, with women, it is blood

As for me, I have literally begged Colin Brazier of GB News (he is the top dog) to talk about it but he continually refuses to do so. He really does not care a damn. If it happened to one of his many daughters, you can be assured that he would mention it in his programme