This post is not about my late wife, Liesel, who I lost 14 years ago but is to do with my daughter, Verity.
Verity is not dead, thankfully, but has been out of my life since mid 2015.
The reason that she has been out of my life is that she falsely accused me of sexual abuse and actual bodily harm and I was arrested in April 2016, just 4 1/2 months after I moved to the Isle of Wight, to start a new life following my divorce.
Like any sexual abuse allegations, even though there was bugger all evidence, apart from self harming scars, I was put through the mill and back. It is not an exaggeration to say that my life from that moment was completely destroyed and the way that the police violated my home meant that my home became just sheer bricks and mortar. In effect, I wanted to die and, being highly spiritual, I cried out to my Liesel to “take me” because there was no point in living anymore.
As a father, I cannot stop loving my little girl but as a person, I am so fucking annoyed and angry. More to the point, even though I was proved innocent and the CPS and Police dropped the case, they actively refused to prosecute Verity for giving a false statement because, if they did, I could go after them for false arrest and seek compensation; with the Police, it is not about justice but is always about money and refusing to accept the blame for their cock ups.
Worse still, although I will always love my munchkin as a daughter, she has never even said a word to me since. She has not said sorry for what she did, she has not said sorry for destroying my life and she has not sought to put things right in my family to help me in my struggle to try and keep my mental health at a level when I would not want to kill myself, as I wanted to last year.
Instead, she has put her desire for things and money above her Daddy, who sacrificed so much for her, and therefore is being so fucking selfish. She has even dismissed the sacrifice that Liesel made for her to help her on her hour of need and she loved her as a mother; in fact, given what Liesel did, she loved Liesel more than her own mother, when her mother was sleeping around and even rented her own flat, when she was married to that person who betrayed me.
Verity could have put all of this right and would have preventing me from suffering all of these years. She could have told the police that her grandfather bribed her to make the false allegations and then the police would have been forced to arrest my father and my pain would have ended.
But no, money was far more important to her than doing “the right thing”, something that she said she wanted to do when we were discussing her desire to go into law; I was so very proud of her for saying that.
But those words were mere “confetti” having no substance at all.
So whilst she gets whatever she wants from her grandfather and the family trust, even if she is not entitled to anything until I die, her life is driven by materialism.
She even cocked up her degree because she got everything paid for (even though I begged my father to let her stand on her own two feet, like millions of others) and she just wanted to party and have fun. University is a place to learn as well as having a social life; they are not mutually exclusive
So, I live in unjustifiable misery and just float through life. You may say that you have to “get your act together” but when someone has rocked you to the absolute core, it is nigh impossible to live a modicum of a normal life