A house of fun?
DH David HenderMon 03/01/2022 12:08
To:
- Stu
Stu,
I was not having a dig at you for not popping in over Christmas.
I have always had a very small circle of friends. Maybe that was because, subconsciously, I was protecting myself from further harm, as I never realised that I had been sexually abused by my father, until my daughter’s false accusations triggered the memories.
When I have had a biggish circle of friends and acquaintances, most have let me down or betrayed me and that has hurt so much.
That was the reason why I sadly canned the pub as it would not be cheap and, due to my very small circle of friends, counted on one hand, it would hardly get used. But it would have been an ideal location for my 60th in 2023, especially as my 50th was a fucking disaster.
My then wife thought more about taking her children to Legoland than worry about my 50th birthday. And she wondered why I drank so much at the hotel! She never gave my birthday a second thought.
My daughter did not think about it either, as did the rest of my family.
Maybe if my daughter was in my life, things would be so much different.
I know that all of the projects are mere distractions but are enjoyable nevertheless. That is why I invest so much money into them, as I do not really have a life anymore.
When you have so many people working against you, the justice system, the police and my family and, of course, the masons who are heavily connected to my family, despite having fought for over 6 years to get a modicum of justice and fairness, there has been absolutely nothing and so that is why I wear my depression, like a cannon ball chained to my ankle, to prevent me from doing anything positive.
That is why my depression will never go away.
I just crave happiness; that is what everyone deserves, don’t they?
David's Diatribe 