As you all know now, my Dad has advanced Alzheimer’s and has turned against me. What would Martin do, if he was him? Martin is married with two young women; I am sure that he loves them all, at this moment in time.
But godforbid, if he got Alzheimer’s, would he do the same to his wife and children, as Dad has done to me? Would he turn against one of them or all of them? That is the question that he needs to ask himself.
Alzheimer’s can change the way that you think and you become irrational, but would his deep seated love for his family, stop him from doing what Dad has done to me?
He is my big brother and has seen how my father has ruined my life and ruined my health, both physical and mentally. But he has done nothing and has sat on the fence.
He is in control of the trust, on which I solely rely, as well as my father’s wealth, which he has full access to, as he holds power of attorney. I did but when he first became ill, he kicked me out and appointed a masonic friend in my place; it was supposed to be the two sons, who would work together for my Dad’s benefit. He has the power to change lives, for good or for bad.
The question that I ask myself is as to whether he is prepared to put right some or all of what my father has done to me? When it comes to money, he knows and I know that he will always have the lion’s share, rightly or wrongly ( we are brothers but very different in that money does not drive me and I just need a quiet life now; too much has damaged me, for me to do anything else) but does he have any love left in him for his little brother, so that he forces some changes.
I know that he was at the meeting at the masonic lodge when there was an attempt to cut me out as a beneficiary; an action that if successful, would have literally led to my ruin. But he had his Dad with him and two other masons; he probably could not have done anything about it, even if he had questioned it.
But to be part of a plot that would have made his little brother homeless, destitute and wretched does go beyond the pale, influenced by others or not.
He has very little time to change anything. Yes I am a fighter but I can only fight against my poor mental health for so long, then I will snap and want to end all of the pain; he would then no longer have a little brother, whether he sees me or not. After all, I have tried to kill myself twice now; once during my second divorce and in late May last year, when things got far too much for me and ended up in a psychiatric hospital and not a month ago, I broke down in front of my GP. That was when he agreed to write to Martin and the other two, any of whom could change so much for me but refuse to do so, out of greed, loyalty or both.
I am rapidly going down a very slippery slope and I do not know what is at the end of it.