And I mean that literally. I have fallen to such depths of despair that I really do not want to carry on. Apart from the continual abuse of the police and the unconcerned approach of the courts, this continual harassment of me is endless and no one could take that, let alone me with my scar tissued brain that has taken my susceptibility to stress down to near zero. I will become a jibbering drooling wreck if nothing is done.
If my daughter and the rest of my family have a single molecule of love remaining for me, then they must call off the wolves, otherwise Verity will not have a real father, my father will have lost a son and my cousin will have lost a good friend, a brother; we were really close friends once.
You will have seen, from old posts, the horrendous damage that was done to my brain ( I even uploaded the scans) and that I actually have a hole the size of a small lemon in my brain, which is lined with horrendous scar tissue that has completely defined my life.
It is the most truest thing that I have ever said; if nothing is done and done right now, I will be gone. I could even die from a heart attack because of the stress; that or I will be a mere shell of myself and probably worse than my Alzheimer’s suffering Dad is now. It is an either or, not maybes or could haves; it is a certainty.
For all intense and purposes, I will be dead and all of those who have not helped me will have my blood on their hands.
And for what? Because a rich and powerful man sadly got Alzheimer’s and, as a result, decided that he was going to destroy me and destroy me he has, with the help of most, if not all, of the family as well as most of my father’s associates, who have stayed loyal to him, regardless of the cost to me.
This is not a joke; it has NEVER been a joke
Take it from me, the cost to me has been and will be immeasurable. Will they all be able to sleep at night, knowing that they had a hand in my downfall and the cessation of my existence?
Out of all of them, the worst of them all has to be my cousin. She has continually professed for years how religious she is but she just sits up there in Wales, in her lovely little house, with her lovely dogs and doing absolutely nothing to help me, because if she does, she will upset her Uncle Will or the family and, if she goes against them, she will lose her house, all bought and paid for by her Uncle Will. I have helped her more than anyone apart from her will ever know, both in Canada and in Wales.
What happened to standing up for the weak and helpless like me, her cousin, who she referred to as much more than a cousin but more like a brother because she loved me so much?
Even including Verity, she is the person who has hurt me the most. She will not have a cousin soon.
I am drinking now, in the morning. What does that tell you? A drunk? No. Just starring into the abyss
I have not slept now for 2 days and do not really know what day it is or even what time of the day it is
I was just surfing track days to keep my mind occupied as I do not want to think of what is to become of me. I saw that it was Fathers’ Day coming up. Verity has spent very few of these with me, even when we were on good terms as she could not be bothered . There was nothing, not even a card, which would have taken 5 minutes, save for one year when I had cufflinks saying “I love you Dad“. Because of her complete disinterest in me, they have now been destroyed; it was too painful a reminder to what I had with Verity but is now no more. But this year,she will not have a proper father for fathers’ day unless something radical happens and fast. I will be gone.