In my last post, I talked about my dream; my dream about being off this damn rock and back on the mainland and in a new home, not a house as this is; it lost the title of “home” in April 2016, when it was violated by the police.
In my dream for the future, I listed three things that my dream home had to have; one of those was a separate space for Verity to live, when she visited me.
People may ask a simple question. Why on earth would I want to partly live with Verity close by when she has done all of these horrible things to me and has put me through hell? After all, many parents and children will not speak or see each other for decades, after a mere argument.
What, on earth, would possess me to want to be with Verity again and, not only that, choose a house where she could have her freedom and personal space?
The simple answer is that I do not know. But it is something that drives me.
Maybe, it is because that without my intervention, she would have died at birth and maybe it was because I was the first to hold her and when she looked up at me and I looked at her, she smiled at me and that imperceptible bond was struck.
Maybe, after divorcing her mother, we were as “thick as thieves” and Verity was so happy that she became “dry” at my house, instead of her mother’s where she spent most of her time.
As she grew, that bond remained very tight and we had so much fun together, so much fun that I was a “new man” and had forgotten all of the pain that preceded it.
Maybe it was because that when Liesel was in our lives, I considered myself to be part of the ultimate family and that I could never have been happier, even if I knew that my Liesel was going to die. I looked after Liesel, Liesel looked after me and both of us looked after Verity. It is no exaggeration to say that for those magical two years, Liesel became Verity’s mother and Verity became Liesel’s daughter. The bond between those two was as strong, if not stronger, than the bond between Verity and I.
You could tell; Verity was always happy and Liesel was always happy; the thought of her impending fate was furthest from her mind. Verity was even happy when Liesel put her on the naughty step and asked her to think about what she had done. After a while, Verity was called in and, just like an adult, was asked to explain her actions and what she had done wrong. Verity did that and then apologised to the both of us. Within a few minutes, everything was back to normal but Verity had learned an important lesson; that was the magic of Liesel.
The million dollar question is whether Verity can work out on her own, this time, what she has done wrong, as there is neither Liesel nor me around to guide her. The other million dollar question is whether Verity can think for herself and shed the strength of the manipulation that she has been under for so very long; a manipulation that led to my ultimate downfall and the breaking of that special bond that was there between Verity and I.
Only time will tell