I should be dead ! I now wish I was

Yes, that’s right, I should be dead

Actually, it was a few decades after I was told that I would die within 6 months, if I didn’t have the major operation to remove a brain tumour. Those were the words of the doctor at Atkinson Morley’s Hospital, who had examined my scans, during a scheduled (but unknown to me) visit to hospital

Yes, “I should be dead“.

Those were the words that I said out aloud when I saw this scan for the very first time, during my neurological consultation with Dr Patrick Trend, in his consulting rooms, at Mount Alvernia Hospital. Here are the scans taken off of the disc

Scan circled by Dr Trend see attached letter

Here is the accompanying letter from Dr Trend

Letter from Dr Trend stating where hole in brain is, dated 13th December 2019 REDACTED

I had never seen this scan before; in fact, I had never seen any scans before, even though I had many consultations with Dr Trend or previously with Mr Walsh, who actually operated on me for about 12 hours.

We were chatting about my medication and I just looked up and saw the scan that he had put on his light box.

I asked Dr Trend what that roundish black spot in the middle of my brain was. It is the size of a small lemon.

He replied by saying that there was nothing there, other than atrophied brain (i.e brain tissue that had rotted into a soup) Yes, not nice eh?

When he had explained the “hole”, I said “I should be dead“. In my layman’s opinion, so much of my brain had gone that I could not possibly function normally

Lining what I call my “hole in my brain” is a massive amount of scar tissue that has effectively short circuited my brain and causes seizures, similar to the ones that I had when I had the tumour.

As a result, I have to take anti convulsive medication for the rest of my life.

As the operation had taken so long and, as a result, I had been under for such a long time, the anaesthetic reacted very badly on my body and I was so ill that I thought that I was going to die when I started to come around, throwing up as I was, with tubes sticking out of my head.

Indeed, years later, my father told me that my Mum, Dad and brother had been advised that I only had a 50% chance of surviving the operation, as they literally had to dig into my brain, after cutting a massive hole in my skull, now covered by a titanium plate and matching screws.

You cannot see the plate in these scans because of the orientation but you can see the screws holding the plate in and the thinness of my skull now

Screws holding plate in


These scans came off a disc that was sent to me, at my request and cost, from the imaging department of BMI Mount Alvernia Hospital. It caused a lot of hassle to not only organise the disc but to actually be able to access the images.

The annotations are mine but the scans came off the disc.

If the prosecuting officer, Mr Hancock, at Arundel Police Station had seen these in conjunction with what Dr Trend had said to him on the phone, he would have been confident that no one was bullshitting him and I would NEVER have had to go through the ridiculous process of being prosecuted, which was a complete debacle.

Published by David Hender (copyright owner- all rights reserved)

If you want to know me, you first need to understand where I have been and where I am going

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