If you have read my blog recently, you will know that I have got into Queen recently, triggered by the film “Bohemian Rhapsody”.
I do not know how but I sort of missed Queen, when Freedie was around. Of course I loved the music; I just did not get right into it, if you know what I mean.
Freddie was a marvelous musician and singer; I truly believe that there are or have been few people who could deal with the range of not only the diverse songs that Queen produced but also the remarkable range of his voice, most of it down to a freak of nature, as he had more teeth than usual.
But I am interested in the aftermath, just as much as the time that all four of them were together.
Of course, the most outgoing and dare I say it, outrageous, was Freddie with both Brian May and Roger Taylor being outgoing in their own right.
But the quiet one was John Deacon. There is nothing wrong with being the quiet one; it is just that may have been perceived as different from the others.
The quiet ones are, dare I say it, more emotional and thoughtful and after Freddie’s passing, he took it the worst and is now no longer sadly part of Queen. That is so sad as he was a very superb song writer and actually kept the band together many times in episodes of strife. He was the glue for all four of them.
My Mum was very quiet but she was such a kind and thoughtful person but when she passed, the family broke apart and my father did whatever he whatever he wanted to do.
I am similar to my Mum and I have taken the break up of the family very badly and the actions of my daughter regarding the false abuse allegations really crushed me.; I felt so betrayed.
But like a lot of quiet people, there is an inner strength and it is that that has kept me going, even if I am so empty in my heart.
I pretty much know what happened now but, to this day, I have no idea as to why Verity did it and I probably will never will. That not knowing is so very hard to live with.
It is for that reason that I have effectively become a hermit, as I know that within these four walls of this bloody house, I am relatively safe.
It really is not out of choice, it has become a necessity for my self preservation. I know my life will never ever be the same as it was in the good times but I hope that someday, I can return to something like normality.
If you do not have hope, there is no point in breathing.