I could have entitled this “What I believe in” too. Both convey the same message.
I believe that it is immoral to spend billions of pounds on aircraft, drones and missiles and for individuals and corporations to gain so much wealth that, in the end, the wealth corrupts those people and that individual lives or indeed countries are subjugated to further the ends of those wealthy entities.
Life has become so corrupt now that life is considered to be cheap, so cheap that it no longer matters if people are unjustly treated and have their lives destroyed; I am one of those people.
This wealth is created, in the main, by the very hardworking people, who are on the breadline, live in council houses and receive government benefits but they never participate in this wealth. That is why I have always felt the need to help out people where I can, asking for absolutely nothing in return because they have nothing to give.
In our society, this wealth is controlled by the few, whether it be governments, individuals, companies or countries. I consider myself to be one of those few. I am just a person who has no influence whatsoever but I use this blog, not to change the world for the better, as I cannot do that, but to make those people who have control of all of this wealth (and indeed control of my life) to just think that there may be a better way of doing things.
I have no clue as to why I was chosen to be so ill treated this way but I know why. It is all to do with power, wealth, influence and greed.
I have committed harm to no one but I am subjected to this life, a life that I cannot tolerate.
I had so many dreams. Not only to see my daughter grow up but to see my projects from inception to success, not to amass a huge amount of money but to help those people who are in such desperate need; the people in the shanty towns of South Africa.
But those dreams have been crushed for really no reason at all, by the people who I loved so very much and did and would do anything for them, anything at all.
Those dreams have also been crushed because my little brother, Prenesh, is suffering from cancer. He was to be my conduit into South Africa as he is both a South African and a Zulu. Without him, I could have done little but, because of his illness, my dreams have been stiffled. If it was not for the continuous distraction of having to fight for everything, I could have helped him, with money and support.
I have helped my father, my late mother, my daughter, my brother, my daughter’s mother and my cousin. I did it out of caring for them or those who would be affected, asking absolutely fuck all in return but those very people have conspired to destroy my life and my dreams.
I have to ask myself this question:
What the hell did I do to deserve to be treated like this?
That is why I fight night and day, spending so much time on this blog, expressing my views and trying to expose the truth. But I have never succeeded in getting “the smoking gun” and, without that, I can do nothing to help Prenesh, myself or those people in those dreadful shanty towns.
I am not one of those people who thinks “out of sight, out of mind” but quite the opposite. It would have taken time to fulfill my dreams but if I had not been set up for a fall so many times, I believe in my heart that I would have succeeded. When I took my last breath on this earth, I could have said to myself that I had achieved something in my life and not spent a great portion of it just existing, which is a tragic waste.
Though I continue to bash my head against a brick wall, I continue to fight for what I believe in, with the hope that cracks will appear in that metaphorical wall and eventually it will come crashing down. If or when that happens, only then will I be able to pursue my dreams, as well as having a much happier and more fulfilling life.