I have decided to break this up a little, as it was getting far too long.
This is the link to what I have written so far of this dreadful story https://wordpress.com/post/davidhender.life/4192
Those who let me down and reneged on their responsibilities
An awful lot of people have let me down but a lot of that was covered in part 2. This relates to outside of my work, in my own personal life and revolves around my second divorce.
Due to getting a very poor compensation settlement and due to the fact that I spent a lot of what I received on looking after Liesel, myself and Verity, by the time that I was due to marry Rosanna, I had no capital, save for the house mainly owned by the bank.
In the run up to the marriage, I had been very honest with Rosanna and had told her about everything that had happened to me. As I saw it, if you are going to marry someone, you have to be honest with your partner from the start.
How can you venture into a marriage with secrets; you cannot?
Probably being somewhat devious and a little bit realistic, she was concerned that if we got divorced, she would have been left with nothing.
After all, she had voluntarily given up her council home in Brighton, after I had paid off the large amount of outstanding rent that had already given rise to the Bailiffs visiting, breaking into her house and taking a lot of possessions, all of which were thankfully recovered once I had paid the outstanding rent.
She and I sat down and she talked about her concerns. Then, after speaking to my father, he came down to see Rosanna at Long Barn. Only my father, Rosanna and I were present, all in the kitchen. Dad sat at one end of the kitchen table and she at the other, whilst I busied myself around the kitchen.
She repeated her concerns to my father. He had already had time to think about it and clearly and succinctly made a sort of statement, a verbal contract if you will or a solemn promise.
He said that he was aware of my financial situation and, if the worst happened, then the family i.e. him, would buy a suitable house for her and her children.
She was satisfied and I was satisfied; I just wish that we had put it in writing.
When it came to the inevitable divorce, she sued me for about £1m, which was more than my total net assets. It was quite clear what her intentions were.
Suddenly my father took a back seat and I had to start the battle on my own, ironically with Verity’s mother’s help, as I still could not drive then. The first solicitor was useless, did very little, whilst I did all of the work, trying to pay his fees. By the time I said to myself enough was enough, I was verging on bankruptcy with my credit card maxed out at £30,000.
I appealed to my father and he agreed to fund me with a new solicitor; we started to make progress.
We had only been married for just over a year and what she was asking for was crazy. A fancy house, new 4×4 to match her sister’s and bucket loads of maintenance for her and her children.
There was no choice; we had to go to court
As my life is so sadly interlinked with that of my father, we both had to make sworn statements. Even the trustee from Switzerland had to fly in and make a statement under oath.
The most important statement was that of my father. In it
- He swore that he treated both of his sons equally
- He did not mention the verbal agreement that he had struck with Rosanna. This was a breach of contract and a breach of promise.
To put it bluntly, that put me in the right shit and I was now left to the devices of the judge. To cut a long story short, she decided:
That all three children were “children of the family”, even though they were not mine and the oldest one was 19
- I had to pay all of her legal costs that amounted to around £45,000
- I had to buy her a house to the value of £180,000
- I had to pay her maintenance for three years
- Although the house AND mortgage were in joint names, she had no responsibility for the mortgage whatsoever
I had to pay off the mortgage in order to get the house into my sole name and with all of the costs and extra legal fees that my solicitor charged at the last moment (after previously promising to have already capped the fees), I had no choice but to seek a loan from the trust, which amounted to £1.3M with approx £2,800 of interest a month. That loan figure included the cost of a new house for me as not only could I no longer live in the marital home, because I was close to another breakdown but had become a health hazard.
Anyone with a balanced mind will see that her award was totally unjustified, especially as she brought nothing but debts into the marriage and for a one year marriage, that was not bad going.
I had previously planned a pre nup agreement, to which she had agreed. In it, she would have got a house around £300,000 and that would have been legally linked to my father’s verbal contract with her but, at the last minute, she refused to sign it after me spending over £3,500 in legal fees.
The marital home was then sold and a lot of the debt paid off, leaving me owing around £185,000; more or less the amount that I was forced to pay Rosanna, which should have been paid by my father, in accordance with his broken contract with Rosanna
My own father had:
- Let me down really badly
- Had perjured himself in court and
- Had broken his verbal contract with Rosanna
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HIM FOR THAT
If I ever get married again, which I very much doubt, there will be a pre nup in place, she can keep her own house and whatever else she has. It will be a straight “what you you brought in, you take out again”. Either that or we just do not get married.
Don’t get we wrong; I love the comcept of marriage but even if she is stunning, inside and out and I love her dearly, I cannot risk going through that again.
Do you blame me?
Now go to part 4 – https://wordpress.com/post/davidhender.life/4201