One final roll of the dice

Well, I am back.

Quite frankly, this is all I have left; this and feeding me and the cat.

I have tried so hard to get Verity back or, at the very least, to make her understand that there was always a way back for her, if she was straight with me.

But, whether she has dug such a deep hole that she cannot climb out of or whatever, she has not grasped the nettle.

I admitted to her that I had not finished that letter, a letter that would have probably destroyed her career but that I had reached a point, so close, that I nearly did.

That is the past now and although I cannot turn off my love of Verity like a switch (I really wish that I could at times), I am going to have to teach her a lesson.

That lesson is that you cannot do such harm to people and just away and carry on living your life as normal.

I remember that a long time ago, my friend Julian had shopped his best friend to the Police because his friend was smoking cannabis and all hell broke lose but no one knew save for me as to what Julian had done. We were all part of the Banstead crowd and went to the same pub, the Victoria but I stopped going there for two reasons; firstly because us group of three started to break up and then Julian went out with Jo, my ex girlfriend, with whom I was still close.

But what Julian did was to be cruel to be kind because we all know how easily it is to go from one drug to another; that is why when I was offered it at a Hogmanay party donkeys years ago, I refused to take it and that is why I do not play computer games or gamble because I know that I have an addictive personality and it will just lead to trouble and debt.

So, sadly, I now have to be cruel to be kind to “save” Verity. I have told her that there will be no time limits for her to come back to me, none of that. When the letter is rewritten, it will just go.

It is because I love my daughter so much that I am prepared to do this. Some may find this very strange but, in my life, I have seen too many people just breeze through life and when there is trouble, just get away with it and never learn from their mistakes. My brother and Verity’s mother come to mind.

This is going to have to be a once only letter and so it will take a couple of days to write.

I have told Verity that she is a very silly little girl in continually shunning all of my attempts at a reconciliation.

So, she now has to pay the ultimate price and be forced to learn that there must be repercussions for doing harm to others, even if she never ever sees me again.

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