Given what had happened to me, I was so frustrated that no one would lift a finger to help me; absolutely no one, not friends, not family and certainly not the Police.
Frustration can boil over and that can lead to you doing daft things so that is why I started this blog, to act as a pressure valve.
But more than that, I wanted to get through to Verity; to explain to her why I was hurting so bad and to really try and understand why she did what she did, so that I could try and help her.
I tried to explore so many different scenarios; whether it was all down to Verity or whether family members coerced her.
But that all failed. I failed to get through to Verity and I am still unsure why.
I know that deep down, there is some love there and I have always loved her dearly; that is a given. That is why it all became some sort of campaign and became an obsession. After all, if you cannot help your daughter (or son), what else is there?
Fathers are put on this earth for two reasons. Firstly to produce your child in the first place (although I can see that men will become redundant in the not too distant future) and to then protect and provide for your own little family.
I do not think that I did a bad job in either “duty” and children, as they grow up and become more mature, realise the sacrifices that men have to make; not seeing their children through work being a prime example.
But men are forced to sacrifice in other ways too; the main one being when a divorce ensues. The wife gets everything and the children and, over time, the father is sidelined, more and more.
It is so hard to explain how much hurt that causes a father, who has a special bond with a daughter but I have tried to explain that to Verity, not to want a pat on the back or for a thank you but for her to realise what all of this has cost me and other men.
We do not want any gratitude but merely recognition of what we put ourselves through for the sake of our children.
But Verity has never got it, despite how much I have tried to explain it.
But worse than that, not only has she not recognised what I have done for her but she purposely turned against me and falsely accused me of sexual abuse.
I ask the question; how can any father deserve that?
I have gone through the entire rainbow of emotions; anger, grief, sadness, false hope and now, very sadly, the realisation that she has gone from me.
I cannot say whether it is out of spite or for tough love but I have been forced to make a decision.
That decision is that Verity is taught a very hard lesson. She cannot breeze through life, with no worries just because they will be sorted out by money; that is not living, that is pure acting.
So, regrettably, I have made the decision to attempt to destroy her career and that letter that I have talked so much about has gone.
After all, what do they say? An eye for an eye?
Because this blog was devoted primarily to somehow getting Verity back, a lot of its purpose has gone so I am going “dark” for a while. It could be days, weeks, months, years or never, who can tell?