Regular readers will know that I am spiritual in my beliefs and a lot of my posts have been triggered by something that I have watched on television, sometimes a phrase, sometimes just one word.
I am sure that it is mere coincidence but who knows. Take the first post of today that was triggered by the Murdoch Mystery episode “The death of Dr Ogden”. That brought back all of the memories of the pact that I made with Liesel, a pact that I broke and, as a result of which, I will carry the guilt for the rest of my life.
I am sure that many, if not all, who have read this far, will think I am a crank or at the least misguided but I want to believe that I have been guided to this point, at the cusp of threatening to destroy my daughter’s career.
Whether you call it a divine intervention by god or angels or those existing in the spiritual world, it really makes no difference.
Over the last four years, I have both fought for my freedom and fought for my daughter. It has amazed me that I have had the strength to keep going and to not take the easy way out and end my own life.
I do not know what the next 24 hours will bring. If nothing happens and I receive no call, then the letter will be sent to the Law Society, Verity’s legal career will be irreparably damaged and she will be out of my life for good, as though my beloved daughter never existed but I will still have those beautiful memories of her in my head. She could never forgive me for destroying her career.
And so, I am now going quiet for the next 12 hours or so, no posts but a great deal of thinking. I know what I must do and I know what I intend to do is right, even if I lose my Verity forever but will be the best for her in the long run.
She will hate me for a very long while and probably will never speak to me again. I am nit doing this out of spite but what I think is best for my daughter, even if I lose her forever.
That is a father’s ultimate sacrifice.