It has been a difficult decision to make and I did have a very sleepless night.
I always used to put my daughter before me but she is a young adult now, could get married or have a baby now.
She is adult enough to make her own decisions and it is adult enough to accept the repercussions of her actions.
I have given her 4 years, yes 4 whole years to come to her senses. I have said that I would forgive her for her past actions, as everyone can make a big mistake once in their life, provided that she admitted to her mistakes but I would never forget, how could I?
A father likes to give her daughter every opportunity; that is what fathers do.
I have tried to do so over those four years but there has been nothing; not a single card, not a single email, not a single call.
I suspect that she has lied to everyone but that does not matter anymore; the lie that she told has destroyed my life and that is no exaggeration.
Mums and Dads like to try to explain what they children have done wrong. When I smoked, my father bought me a box of cigars to try and make me sick and put me off smoking. It was the method of dissuasion that was important, not the outcome that actually failed; I have plenty of cigarettes around me and they have been a great comfort, especially in the bad times that I have experienced since Liesel become really ill.
So, what I am trying to say is that a parent, if completely separated for many years; it is biological thing. A “hard wired” love if you will that cannot be set aside, even if you have been badly treated by your child.
It is said that sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, even if the child does not see it.
I have decided to not publish a copy of the final letter as that may give my daughter a chance to somehow try and mitigate the allegations in the letter, a great deal which has cast iron proof.
After all, I was arrested, I was cleared and I have all of the emails to the criminal solicitor at Castle Partnership to prove it. I also have all of the papers for when I was arrested and bailed, together with a grand list of all of the items that they seized.
I have been so tired today that I have hardly been out of bed so the letter has not gone. So, fate has given Verity a final roll of the dice. Will she take it? I doubt it. So, she has the weekend to come to some very hard decisions and I will just have to double up on my meds as one has now run out; not ideal but I have had to do it before.
Yes, a career is important as that is what gives you independence but if your life is based on lies and deceipt, then, without you realising it, your career and personal life will slowly morph into a state of corruption, lies and deceipt, just as my father’s, my brother’s, cousin’s and her own mother’s have done.