Putting yourself in my shoes – A message to Verity

Verity,

So that you can understand what I am going through, I want you to put yourself in my shoes, just for a while.

Just imagine that you are me.

Imagine that a while ago, you were happy busying yourself working on some DIY, when your heard a car. You go and see who it is and it is a detective asking you to come into the house; whilst walking into the house, you are wondering if a family loved one had been seriously hurt or had died.

Then he ushers you into the lounge and suddenly uniformed officers appear.

Then the detective said that your child had made allegations of a sexual nature against you and you then go into shock.

The detective arrests you, bundles you into a police van, in full view of your neighbours, and you are taken to a Police station and thrown into a police cell.

After many hours, still not knowing what is really going on, a kind officer brings you your medication and says that I will be interviewed in a minute.

But another hour goes by and then suddenly the cell opens and you are ushered into an interview room and you face two plain clothed detectives, a woman and a man; the woman takes the lead but both look very angry.

You are asked if you want a solicitor present and say no, as you have nothing to hide, as you have done nothing wrong.

The woman starts barking disgusting allegations at you and are even more shocked at what your child has said about you; how could she have said all of that?

The interview takes the form of an interrogation, just like in the films and you are getting more and more worried. Both of the detectives go flush in the face and start shouting things at you such as ” YOU ARE LYING VERITY“.

When the subject of your father comes up, you tell them that he has Alzheimer’s and the male detective shouts at you “HOW DO YOU KNOW?” to which you shout back “BECAUSE HE TOLD ME” He still does not believe you.

At long last, the interrogation ends and you are thrown back in the cell. Two hours later, you are released and, when you first get home, you have a cigarette and a few glasses of wine to calm the nerves. You then go to bed.

For the next three months, your brain goes into overdrive and you start thinking about proving your innocence. You keep a pad and pen by your bed and wake up many times during the night and scribble things down. When you get up, you write many emails to your solicitor for passing onto the Police.

Then, in the kitchen, you get a phone call from the female detective who said that they are dropping the case. You are relieved and then a wave of sadness comes over you as you suddenly realise that YOU HAVE LOST YOUR CHILD FOREVER.

Over the next three or four years, you write emails to your child every day but there are no replies, which really upsets you; you feel ALONE. None of your family will talk to you in a nice way and still DO NOT BELIEVE YOU even though the Police have cleared you.

As time goes on, you get more and more frustrated. Your father has ensured that all of your friends alienate you and you are very much alone, save for your cat, William.

One day, you find your child’s blog, written after the date that you were cleared by the Police and you read all of the lies that your child has put in black and white.

You become very angry so you start up your own blog to counter the allegations made by your child and you start to trust no one. In the end, you trust no one and are well and truly ALONE.

You feel like a prisoner in your own home. In fact, your home becomes just a house as all of your precious things have been violated by the Police crawling all over the house. You no longer go out, except to get your medication and go to your osteopath and friend, who has great empathy with you. Your life becomes so dreary that you look forward to both of those events, even if they are for a short time.

You become so disheartened and try to fight back but you realise the organisations that you rely on for your income, are in league with your father and do everything that he asks of them.

You feel that you want to escape the island but can do nothing without money, money that you found out has been withheld from you but given to your sibling. But even though that is true, the organisations ignore the reality as they are taking orders from your father.

THAT IS WHAT IT IS LIKE FOR ME, EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY

 

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