The question that I have to ask myself is if I have changed for the better, in light on what has happened to be, both in the recent and distant past. I believe the answer is undoubtedly yes.
I confess that all I thought about was my little world, my daughter, my partner Liesel and my two wives and I strove to keep them all safe as best as I could.
But the experiences of the last umpteen years have shifted my perception. Sometimes, it takes awful things to happen to you for your viewpoint to change.
Don’t get me wrong; I have always felt that I was kind and considerate to my family and those close to me but I never thought about the “big picture”
In a way, although what has happened to me has been so painful, I am actually grateful that it has happened as my eyes have been opened to so many injustices, in the past, what is happening now and what may happen in the future.
As I said, I have suffered a lot of pain but, in a way, I am actually thankful to Verity and my father for doing what they did to open my eyes, really wide, to those around me.
But the sad thing is that although my eyes have been opened, I am suffering and suffering badly both in a physical and mental way. I have no ability to start over with my eyes open and change things for the better, as my father, the trust and many members of family are blocking me to be able to better not only my life but those of others.
That is the greatest sadness of it all.