It takes very little now

With everything that has gone before, it takes very little now for me to want to kill myself.

In fact, I became so overwhelmed when the water started rushing out of the loo at full pressure that I ending up curling up in bed; all of my oomph had gone.

I really did come within a hair’s breath of wanting to kill myself today. Normally, I just soldier on but I gave up so easily. Maybe a lot of it was to do with yesterday and that it was running in my subconscious.

Things have really got to change and change fast.

The water has been turned off but the dining room is a complete mess. The next time that anything like this happens again, I do not think that I will be able to take it.

Water is still dripping through the ceiling but I am so shattered that I am just going to leave it until the guy comes back and fixes the loo and after a sleep in bed.

I have lost complete interest in this fucking house now. It was a happy home until April 2016 but never since

It is like when I had my breakdown at Premium Credit; my brain was completely overwhelmed. Any further mishap, even a slight one, will take me over the edge and I will be in hospital for the rest of my life and my life will be truly over.

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