It is breaking my heart

It is breaking my heart that on Verity’s 21st birthday, one of the iconic birthdays in someone’s life, I cannot share it with her.

I dont know where she is, I dont know what she is doing but I hope that she is happy.

I cannot even phone her because I do not know her number but she could always phone me; the copious emails that I have sent have my number permanently at the bottom, but she does not phone and I cannot even hear her sweet voice.

It is completely tearing me apart

I keep on asking myself the question; what the hell did I do to deserve this?

But, I will never know because no one and I mean no one from the family will talk to me.

I am so at the end of my tether but it would probably do her and everyone else a favour if I just chucked myself out of the window or got in the car, went on the Military Road, wind up the car and either drive off a cliff or hit something very hard, seat belt off, of course.

I will be sending Verity this so that she knows how much pain I am in.

I just want to hear my little girl’s sweet voice

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