I have just watched a Dr Blake Mysteries episode and it concerned a painting of his mother’s.
My darling late Mum did not set the world alight, she was not a businesswoman, she was not clever at making things but she was one of the kindest, if not the kindest, person that i have ever known.
Yes, I am sure that I am biased but there was something very special about my Mum in that she was just so kind.
That is very surprising, given that she grew up in the slums of the East End and was a true Cockney. My father gave her a lot of flack because he was a sexist bastard and just wanted a stunning woman on his arm and boy was my mother stunning.
It was my father’s actions that eventually broke my mother, causing her to have a serious nervous breakdown and that is why my parents had my brother and I quite late; certainly for the era.
I dread to think how my father treated her but I can imagine and it sends shivers through my spine. Just look at the way that he has treated his son; me. There is something in my father that has made him that way and I believe that it was partly due to the way that his parents treated him; he could do no wrong and created a massive ego for himself.
One of the kindest things that Verity’s mother has ever said was about my mother and she said that she really liked her because she was so kind and kind she was to everyone. I can honestly say that there was not a bad thought in her body, which is quite amazing given what she was put through and the environment that she grew up in and the way that my father treated her.
It was from my Mum and my Mum alone that I am what I am today. She taught me humility, kindness, morality and humanity and, even though I am speaking for myself, that is how I have led my life.
But people have taken advantage of my kind nature; basically my whole family including my very own daughter and others too.
I think the best of people or rather I did and I trusted everyone with whom I was friends with and, of course, trusted my wives and my family implicitly.
But people have taken advantage of my kind nature, including all of my family and so I have turned into a person who really trusts no one, certainly not Verity or the rest of my so called family, as those who have taken advantage of me have turned against me for personal gain of whatever sort.
So, I am now really a recluse who only leaves this bloody house to pick up my meds or see my osteopath.
I do not wish to be like this. I want to enjoy my life and share good times with the people whom I love and respect.
This may happen if there is some sort of change but I do not see that change coming any time soon.
My home was to be my sanctuary but it has turned into just bricks and mortar and is just like a prison.
Yes, it has no bars but there are bars in my mind because if I stay in this house, then no one can hurt me anymore but hurt I continue to endure through other means; by the campaign that my father and the family are waging on me to ensure my destruction.
Quite frankly, I now long to be with my Mum and my beloved Liesel again, because there is nothing left on this earth for me; my darling Verity has made that especially plain to me