With what has gone on and what is going on in my life, there is nothing that I can do apart from keeping on living until I can deal with all of the hurt that has been inflicted on me.
I cannot just roll over and die. I have low will power but have the will to carry on until I see the light again.
Over the last few days, I have come to realise that for whatever reason, I am unlikely to see Verity ever again. I feared for her safety but she could not even send me a two worded email saying “okay Dad”. That would have given me so much relief.
She has become so very selfish, more than I could ever imagine someone to become; it would seem that my darling Verity, my little girl is lost to me and I do not even know the reason why. I can guess but will never know for certain, as it would be only Verity, from the family, who would ever tell me the real truth.
The only hope that I can muster is nothing to do with Verity, although I will always long for her to be in my life again but is to carry on fighting, as that is now all that I can do.
Hopefully, one day soon, I will be off this fucking island and out of this house that haunts me so much and be in a new place where I can start afresh, yet again.
To that end, I will continue to embarrass all of the people who have wronged me and get what is rightfully mine to enable me to start a new life.
I am so very tired and sleep more and more each day but I have this fire inside me to keep me going and to do what is right.
If it means destroying my only income source, sobeit. If it means tearing down the corruption in Berwin Leighton Paisner and Paicolex Trust Management AG, sobeit. If it means exposing my father as a tax evader and child abuser, with him being locked up, sobeit.
I have to harden myself up for the challenge. If I get a call to help my father, for whatever reason, I will just ignore it. Let the people who have benefited so much from him, pull their fingers out of the arses and help him for once in their life. He can no longer ask me to set everything aside and to rely on my kind nature.
My family does not exist to me; it has all gone, including my beloved Verity.