As I sleep so badly, I had an afternoon snooze yesterday, not ideal but I was so very tired.
I then had a scary dream. My father called me and said it was about Verity. I asked what was wrong and he suddenly went very quiet, not what my father does.
It meant that Verity was gravely injured or, even worse, dead.
I must have tried to contact her between 20 and 30 times yesterday afternoon and evening but no reply.
The last message was very simple and to the point “How can you be so cruel?”
I stopped messaging but stayed up as long as I could but tiredness got the better of me and I went to bed, taking a phone from my normal bedroom, as I am sleeping in what would have been Verity’s bedroom, if she had ever stayed at the house.
As soon as I got up this morning, I came down put the kettle on and checked my emails; absolutely nothing.
I still have no idea if she is badly injured or has passed away and so I am now in a very painful limbo, a limbo that I will remain in until I have news one way or the other.
Either way, if I do get news, it will be straight on the net to book a ferry and then shower and change.
What a position to be in
Its only 8.30 but I am already drinking to calm my nerves
If I get word, I will drive with alcohol inside me. I dont care. I just want to see Verity one last time