It wasn’t about convenience, it was about control

I want to talk about something from my past, which really pisses me off.

When my first wife and I got divorced, I wanted joint custody but she point blank refused. If I had applied for it in court, knowing the bias in the justice system, I would have not only lost but ended up with two lots of court fees to pay plus mine and her legal costs. I was coming away with very little and though it really pained me, I just could not take that risk otherwise I would have been near bankrupt and it was she who had committed adultery with my so called best friend.

She had refused because she wanted control over Verity and wanted to use her as a pawn against me, which she did for 18 years.

But, it was not only that. When it came to the holidays, I was always left with the scraps and I got the same old spiel “I work, you do not, I have to plan my time off”. Don’t forget that my career collapsed when I had that nervous breakdown.

That was all about control too. It would not have surprised me if some of the time that she demanded, yes demanded, she needed for a holiday, she never actually went away at all.

So, it was all about control over me, pure and simple. She even “conveniently” asked me to do things for Verity when she was with me, like buying blazers and having her ingrowing toenails sorted, which I paid for on top of the huge maintenance that was supposed to pay for all of that in the first place.

Of course, Verity knew none of this. All she could see was that her Dad hardly saw her and that must have brought real sadness to Verity, anger even.

But the fact that I didn’t see my little girl too much, was none of my fault; it was, in fact, her mother’s but I bet that Verity still holds that against me.

It would definitely explain why Verity always sided with her mother.

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