I stopped breathing when Liesel died

I cannot explain the love that I had for Liesel; I just wanted to be with her and care for her when she became sick.

My undying love for my darling Mum and beloved daughter kept me going but I was just a shell of my former self and I drank and smoked more. Anyone who has not lost someone that has been dear to their heart and a soul mate will never ever understand.

Family are supposed to pull together when there is a crisis and a crisis that it has been for the last 5 years and I am not just talking about me losing Verity.

But, there is no one, no one at all in the family who will help me to get what is best for my Dad. I hope and “pray” that once that can be achieved, things will slowly fall into place. Regardless of how it was achieved, he did ostensibly leave a great deal of money to people other than him, even if he did then decide to use it as his own piggy bank and use it to control people, his own family no less.

All of the parties involved are all doing it for their own self interest, particularly Berwin Leighton Paisner, Paicolex Trust Management, Martin, his wife Alison and my pathetic cousin and Pat or Lori, depending on whom is talking about her.

I do not care if you believe it or not but I am doing this primarily for my Dad, because if that can be resolved, it may be possible to get my life back and get my daughter back; it is all interconnected.

I have a strong moral code and although I have really endured, I will just on keep going until one of two endings; I achieve what I need to achieve or I am dead.

Those are only two alternatives.