I have had a number of mini heart attacks that do wear off and I have never called the ambulance, what is the point but they are getting much more frequent and so my body is telling me that my time is nearly up.
I know that Verity will not come for Christmas as she is just too selfish. I have my turkey, ham, pickles, sprouts, leeks, carrots; just about everything that I need for the two festive days and I have even booked a delivery for some new year’s eve food but quite frankly, I doubt that I will get there or even to Christmas.
My final word is that I ask that everyone is good to each other, do not stitch each other up. This may be a Utopian view but it is something that I have always wished for; this world and this country is so fucked up.
Quite frankly, I have fought for two or three years to get my daughter back but just a blank. My Dad has gone but I had hoped that my daughter was able to be “woken up” but no, so there is absolutely no point in me living, as I have already lost so much, my Liesel and my Mummy and now my beloved daughter who shuns me continuously
I will not do anything to myself but I have already screwed myself up through stress and pain so my body is too far gone.
I will be glad when I am with my Liesel and with my Mum
I sent this to Verity
I honestly believe that this is goodbye but the pain is wearing off for now